WATCH: Yep, Here’s Why Martin is Great Husband Material | Episode 11

One therapist found Martin to be “great husband material” because he is emotionally available and vocal about what does and doesn’t work for him.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 6 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

Joseph opened up about his understanding of the male mind and described the deficiency that he found a lot of men feel about certain things. Contrary to popular belief, Joseph finds that most men envy women’s ability to express their emotions. That Martin is a bit more adept at displaying his raw emotions puts him leaps and bounds ahead of most husbands.

Experts Featured:

(1) Drew Joseph, MA, LMFT, provides individual and couple therapy to adults in Washington, DC. His therapeutic methods are informed by psychodynamic psychology and Shambhala Buddhism. Learn more about Drew Joseph here.

 

WATCH: ‘Til Death, or Divorce? The Likelihood of Martin and Gina Lasting | Episode 10

Divorce? Martin’s self-imposed exile convinced one therapist that he had the burning desire to improve his character and make his marriage work.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 5 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

The therapists are split over the issue of divorce. They all bring years and years of experience into their analysis of what makes relationships work, and what doesn’t. Rosario candidly explains why she believes Martin and Gina’s relationship wouldn’t last.

She argues that at the core, Martin has way too many insecurities about his capabilities as a man, and being in a relationship with a woman who—on paper—is seemingly more capable than he is, might ultimately fracture the union. Fay on the other hand, found that Martin’s self-imposed exile showed a depth to his character that she found to be demonstrative of a resilience, which is something that makes for long-lasting, healthy marriages.

Experts Featured:

(1) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

(2) Sylvia E. Rosario, M.Ed, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of her private practice based in Washington D.C. as a practicing psychotherapist and specialist in Marriage and Family therapy. She is committed to working with individuals, couples and families who are seeking to enhance and improve the quality of their lives. Mrs. Rosario was appointed to the District of Columbia, Board of Marriage and Family Therapy on December 7, 2012 , her term to expire January 3, 2015. You can learn more about her here.

(3) Dr. Krystal Stanley, Ph.D. is a licensed Psychologist and owner of Re-New Psychological Services, LLC, based in Washington D.C. Dr. Stanley provides individual, couples, and group therapy to adults and has experience working with clients in university counseling centers, community mental health centers, public and charter schools, and non-profit/community based counseling centers. Dr. Stanley also provides clinical supervision to the therapists at Re-New who are pursuing licensure in their respective fields of study. Follow Dr. Stanley on Twitter at @ReNewPsych Like Lectures to Beats on Facebook. Follow L2B on Twitter.

WATCH: The Sneaky Vulnerability Lurking in Martin & Gina’s Clashes | Episode 9

Like most relationships, there are vulnerabilities lurking in the majority of Martin and Gina’s arguments. Therapists say they need to be identified—-immediately.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 4 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

Every single argument is fueled by the emotion of fear, and so couples like Martin and Gina should ask themselves what are they fearful of. For women who can relate to Gina, it may be, ‘I’m scared that Martin thinks that I’m too bourgie or that he doesn’t care enough about me to partake in my interests or marry me.

And for Martin, it may be, ‘I’m scared that Gina doesn’t respect my work because I’m a radio disc jockey or I’m scared that she’s going to leave me for a man that she has more in common with.’ Laying everyone’s fears on the table—however mushy and pride-stripping that conversation might be—will make for more productive disagreements and smoother resolutions.

Experts Featured:

(1) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

(2) Sylvia E. Rosario, M.Ed, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of her private practice based in Washington D.C. as a practicing psychotherapist and specialist in Marriage and Family therapy. She is committed to working with individuals, couples and families who are seeking to enhance and improve the quality of their lives. Mrs. Rosario was appointed to the District of Columbia, Board of Marriage and Family Therapy on December 7, 2012 , her term to expire January 3, 2015. You can learn more about her here.

(3) Dr. Krystal Stanley, Ph.D. is a licensed Psychologist and owner of Re-New Psychological Services, LLC, based in Washington D.C. Dr. Stanley provides individual, couples, and group therapy to adults and has experience working with clients in university counseling centers, community mental health centers, public and charter schools, and non-profit/community based counseling centers. Dr. Stanley also provides clinical supervision to the therapists at Re-New who are pursuing licensure in their respective fields of study. Follow Dr. Stanley on Twitter at @ReNewPsych Like Lectures to Beats on Facebook. Follow L2B on Twitter.

WATCH: No Money, No Honey? Martin’s Blue-Collar Job & Gina’s White-Collar Career | Episode 8

Martin gets major kudos for opening up about his desire to provide for Gina and the disappointment he felt when he could not.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 3 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

Drew Joseph—whose work is informed by Buddhist principles—admires Martin’s ability to communicate his career anxieties to Gina, something that most of Joseph’s male clients struggle to do. Laurel Fay, another therapist, adds that if more men were expressive about that evolutionary instinct to provide, it would allow women to honor that intention and be more compassionate when trying to reach a middle ground about everyone’s moneymaking abilities.

Experts Featured:

(1) Drew Joseph, MA, LMFT, provides individual and couple therapy to adults in Washington, DC. His therapeutic methods are informed by psychodynamic psychology and Shambhala Buddhism. Learn more about Drew Joseph here.

(2) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

 

WATCH: Are Martin & Gina “Equals” and Will that Matter? | Episode 7

There is a very strong possibility that insecurity may set in with the person who is not formally educated if he or she doesn’t address it.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 2 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

Let’s not forget that for much of their relationship, Gina was a white-collar professional working as an advertising and marketing executive, while Martin was a lesser-known radio disc jockey who didn’t go to college. Sylvia E. Rosario sees African-American couples like Martin and Gina come into her office with similar dynamics.

The problem is not so much that one person is mad at the other for being better educated but that typically, the person without a formal education cannot articulate themselves in the same manner as their partner, and that causes communication problems. Rosario advises black women (because they’re typically the formally-educated partner) to avoid becoming involved with men that they are not equally yolked with, especially if both individuals are not ready to do the extra work to address those disparities.

Experts Featured:

(1) Drew Joseph, MA, LMFT, provides individual and couple therapy to adults in Washington, DC. His therapeutic methods are informed by psychodynamic psychology and Shambhala Buddhism. Learn more about Drew Joseph here.

(2) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

(3) Sylvia E. Rosario, M.Ed, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of her private practice based in Washington D.C. as a practicing psychotherapist and specialist in Marriage and Family therapy. She is committed to working with individuals, couples and families who are seeking to enhance and improve the quality of their lives. Mrs. Rosario was appointed to the District of Columbia, Board of Marriage and Family Therapy on December 7, 2012 , her term to expire January 3, 2015. You can learn more about her here.

 

WATCH: Couples Therapists Cringe at Martin’s Lofty Expectations of Himself | Episode 6

Martin should go easy on the inflated expectations he has for himself as a man and as a romantic partner because they are smothering both him and Gina.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 1 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship. 

Krystal Stanley explains that because Martin doesn’t see himself fitting the bill for what a man is and because he has very explicit ideas about how a boyfriend should provide for his girlfriend, those insecurities emerge in unhealthy ways. His famed “I’m a man!” chant was cute and funny for prime time, but in real life, men would suffocate their Ginas with that kind of behavior.

Experts Featured:

(1) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

(2) Sylvia E. Rosario, M.Ed, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of her private practice based in Washington D.C. as a practicing psychotherapist and specialist in Marriage and Family therapy. She is committed to working with individuals, couples and families who are seeking to enhance and improve the quality of their lives. Mrs. Rosario was appointed to the District of Columbia, Board of Marriage and Family Therapy on December 7, 2012 , her term to expire January 3, 2015. You can learn more about her here.

(3) Dr. Krystal Stanley, Ph.D. is a licensed Psychologist and owner of Re-New Psychological Services, LLC, based in Washington D.C. Dr. Stanley provides individual, couples, and group therapy to adults and has experience working with clients in university counseling centers, community mental health centers, public and charter schools, and non-profit/community based counseling centers. Dr. Stanley also provides clinical supervision to the therapists at Re-New who are pursuing licensure in their respective fields of study. Follow Dr. Stanley on Twitter at @ReNewPsych

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