WATCH: The Sneaky Vulnerability Lurking in Martin & Gina’s Clashes | Episode 9

Like most relationships, there are vulnerabilities lurking in the majority of Martin and Gina’s arguments. Therapists say they need to be identified—-immediately.

By Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele

This is Part 4 of a 6-part analysis of Martin and Gina’s relationship.

Every single argument is fueled by the emotion of fear, and so couples like Martin and Gina should ask themselves what are they fearful of. For women who can relate to Gina, it may be, ‘I’m scared that Martin thinks that I’m too bourgie or that he doesn’t care enough about me to partake in my interests or marry me.

And for Martin, it may be, ‘I’m scared that Gina doesn’t respect my work because I’m a radio disc jockey or I’m scared that she’s going to leave me for a man that she has more in common with.’ Laying everyone’s fears on the table—however mushy and pride-stripping that conversation might be—will make for more productive disagreements and smoother resolutions.

Experts Featured:

(1) Laurel Fay, M.S., LCMFT, is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Laurel Fay & Associates, LLC. Ms. Fay has a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University, and a Masters of Science degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland at College Park. She is also an Approved Supervisor and Clinical Fellow of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).Ms. Fay is specially trained to work with couples, particularly around marital, communication and intimacy issues. Fay has given workshops on couple and family relationships for several organizations, including the Pro Bono Counseling Project; she is also a business coach for private practitioners, and is a frequent presenter on the topic of starting and growing a practice. She is the current President of the Middle Atlantic Division of the AAMFT, and she has been in private practice since 2001. Follow Laurel on Twitter at @laurelfay

(2) Sylvia E. Rosario, M.Ed, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of her private practice based in Washington D.C. as a practicing psychotherapist and specialist in Marriage and Family therapy. She is committed to working with individuals, couples and families who are seeking to enhance and improve the quality of their lives. Mrs. Rosario was appointed to the District of Columbia, Board of Marriage and Family Therapy on December 7, 2012 , her term to expire January 3, 2015. You can learn more about her here.

(3) Dr. Krystal Stanley, Ph.D. is a licensed Psychologist and owner of Re-New Psychological Services, LLC, based in Washington D.C. Dr. Stanley provides individual, couples, and group therapy to adults and has experience working with clients in university counseling centers, community mental health centers, public and charter schools, and non-profit/community based counseling centers. Dr. Stanley also provides clinical supervision to the therapists at Re-New who are pursuing licensure in their respective fields of study. Follow Dr. Stanley on Twitter at @ReNewPsych Like Lectures to Beats on Facebook. Follow L2B on Twitter.

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